What's the journey? To Enjoy it!

Ok... the title says it...

I'm Lost!

I mean, what's next? Having another goal, learning something new... gathering some people for a few days and then having an empty feeling?

What? Going again trying to approach and meet women only to have me not doing a single talk?

This thing of having goals is getting old for me... What should I do?

I don't know whether to work or not, because then it'll take all of my time and I won't make too much money to buy my stuff... Maybe I should take on this a start my own bussiness from small steps on...

And the music... I haven't played guitar since some days and there are 2 songs that I don't have fully memorized so I can begin playing them...

There's no drummer and since a month ago that I got this task to put an AD looking for a drummer, I want to start making this happen with my music and I want some nice people in there, not people with agendas...

And I feel like I don't have enough energy to do what I wanna do and have a "productive" day... it's been a while since I had a really good one of those.

People are nice, I find them to be nice towards me, that's going cool

And this ideagasms forum... some guy there upsets me when he goes and makes a distorted statement... I find myself disagreen and not feeling strength on most of the people who post there... it's like it's not my place to keep visiting the forum that often. It's like I've learned what I needed to learn from them and now I've got to do what I know I have to do...

Checking my Gmail account and the ideagasms forum is taking a lot of my energy, so then I feel like I've wasted and I'm not growing or moving anywhere...

Yesterday was very powerful, I started doing what I was leaving out...

I hate it when I'm not consistant and I forget the great things I was doing. I hate to quit stuff and not complete them. I sometimes feel I'm not fully in control of myself and that any little stuff can destroy the shield and strength that I've been gradually building for myself

And I hate it that I'm not already speaking russian and that I didn't perfectly learn italian, and I don't know if languages is my real passion

I hate to keep doing boring stuff and do things because it will suposedly mean something to the fucking society... I mean... fuck society, yeah fuck them don't need them