Wednesday, June 08, 2005
(Attraction) You Need To Find You Own Source Of Confidence And Optimism
> When you take this workshop, you
> WILL make massive progress on your
> three nights, and you will break
> new ground and achieve stuff
> you've never achieved before. But
> it's coming from the wrong place.
> It's coming from "I just met
> Tyler! wow!" or "I just took a
> workshop... so I MUST be good and
> that girl over there MUST like me."
Hi Dan :-)
You have posted a well reasoned and well thought out account of your situation and you obviously have no axes to grind, etc. What you are describing makes a lot of sense; I don't speak for RSD and I don't even know the guys personaly, other than seeing them in ASF, but I will try to give you my two Zimbabwean cents:
YOU NEED TO FIND YOUR OWN SOURCE OF CONFIDENCE AND OPTIMISM.
This game is a bitch sometimes, but you only realize that when you have a long sequence of fuck ups and/or when some chick totally shits on you. With time, your confidence will go down and your results deteriorate.
What you need to do is: 1) Work on feeling genuinly comfortable with yourself; don't build your self-worth on how many women you're with or wether you're getting some or not. 2) Find something that makes you feel cool.
For #1 I had no problem with it, I always felt great about myself. Now for #2 I did many things, I hope you too can benefit from them:
1) I devided my gaming universe to two; I would go out clubbing and approach cool hot club chicks just for the sake of training and sharpening my claws, I would push each interaction as far as it goes, I would try kino, quick kiss, weird lines, weird body language like severe back turns, I would try out all the shit I read in ASF, after I crashed and burned and felt "good", I would turn to AFC chicks in daytime game and see my results SHINE. Go ahead, do that. Practice on hotties at night, then come back to AFC chicks. People say HBs and normal chicks require different game .. BULLSHIT. It's all about being cocky and funny, coming up with crazy shit to say, being cool, being able to contribute to the conversation and show her new interesting stuff, etc.
2) STOP WINGING. Going out with other ASFers, specially if they're beginers or timid or have no game .. SUCKS. You two, or three, or four, will go out and just nag at each other like the Marge Simpson sisters. There is no better way to amplify negative self image than to join others in the same boat. It's OK to hang out, talk, exchange ideas, as long as you know that you're not "together" and each of you is free to approach whatever chick he wants and take off with her anytime. Then, your association is more like a chat during a cigratte break, rather than a support group.
3) Constantly get back to the basics. Keep in mind it's about FUCKING, not "talking" or "gaming" or "ingaging". Sometimes primitive GM-based cavemaning is all it takes. Sometimes the girl just wants to be cared for and treated nicely and kindly; not all chicks give it up because they're negged and called a powerpuff girl.
4) Mercilessly borrow, steal, copy, and cajole ideas from others (I didn't say "buy" because I never paid for shit) There is no one great method, no silver bullet, they all work sometimes and don't other times. SS offers the best rapport based game, EVing is what romance is made of. MM has the best skills for clubbing, I am not so sure of Mystery later systems like the 8-step programme. The RSD guys, you know, have serious game, you would be stupid to dismiss the tome of knowledge put out by TD; off the top of my head; the 25-Points, Stealing Horny Chicks, How to Really PU, and Playing Hard to Get are stuff I have read, reread, and fucking changed my life. I met Juggler and basically jump started my social skills, I don't even think I knew how to be "normal" before meeting juggler, I was into show off and fast cars, I used to stand at street corners and wink at girls, and all sorts of weird shit.
Having said that, none of it is religion. Be prepared to discover some technique USELESS and start using another. You will find about sarging venues and optimum times for going out; you're in D.C. so I can share some stuff with you, etc.
My point is that none of this stuff is perfect and you will have to adapt it to yourself. PU requires a change in personality, but only you know to which extent is this change necessary. You can go as primitive and natural as you want and stick to stuff by Gunwitch, for example, or you can aim for gaming entire clubs and mastering the hot spots of the night life, then you would probably combine stuff by Mystery and TD, etc.
Posted by: Alessandro | June 4, 2005 08:19 PM
http://www.thundercatseductionlair.com/2005/06/rsd_lawsuit.html#comments
The most impactful things for me were:
"YOU NEED TO FIND YOUR OWN SOURCE OF CONFIDENCE AND OPTIMISM."
Later I've realized that I've become an Optimist... and you know what? everyday this is increasing! I'm constantly working on that area... becoming more positive, and there are puzzles for me that are beginning to be solved. It's very important for me to discover the sources of confidence and optimism, be it certain authors, like Alessandro, certain tapes, stuff that works for me, and so on...
"What you need to do is: 1) Work on feeling genuinly comfortable with yourself; don't build your self-worth on how many women you're with or wether you're getting some or not. 2) Find something that makes you feel cool."
I'm realizing that I'm becoming more and more comfortable with myself...
A point I will and am internalizing is "not building my self-worth on how many women I'm with or whether I'm getting some or not"... how could I get this concept? What could help me do that? That Matt Furey quote about approval is very key to this... If I were to build my self-worth on how many women I'm with or if I'm getting some or not is a seeking approval mechanism by itself...
Well... about number 2... I won't tell ;-)
